Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Post Christmas Primer











All the days leading up to Christmas you spend a very large amount of time cooking (ham), baking (cookies, candies, prune buns) and decorating and then fixing the very same decorations over and over and over due to children and a very bad wee kitten. Christmas comes you eat your yummy things, fix the decorations for the last day you'll care this year and go to your events (church and popping over to the neighbors to wish them well). Wake up in the morning (8:30am my two young ones keep very respectable hours thank you very much no 5:30am, "MOMMY Get UP IT'S CHRISTMAS!!! Not for them. Actually, Bob and I were up first drinking coffee and waiting; we refrained from running in their room screaming for them to get up we sat quietly looking at the tree sipping our little hot cups and trying very hard to pretend like we were indeed grown ups. )

The children arose, we exchanged gifts. Ate Christmas appetizers, baked goods and ham.


Ok. It's all over. Now what? What does one do with the days after Christmas? You observe that you have serious amounts of leftovers so you firstly, stop cooking. Secondly, remove all the childrens new toys from their bondage of boxes covered in wire ties and plastic straps (someone is apparently afraid that all the "Little People Toys" have a very well plotted plan to take over the world and should therefore be restrained in EVERY SINGLE MANNER POSSIBLE to make sure they don't leave their little red and yellow boxes and GET US WHILE WE SLEEP!) Anyway, you get your scissors, wire cutter, blow torch and box cutter and get to work. Make sure you get every single toy out of it's bondage. Because if you leave just one in the child will find you later and demand the toys' freedom papers while you, my dear grown up, are try to play with your own new toys. So if you follow my instructions your children should in theory busy themselves with their new stuff and leave you to your own devices.

Ahhh, I love the quietness of the season....



Here's a bit of a laugh for you. Bob ordered me some lovely clothes from a catalog this Christmas. He received them, wrapped them very nicely and placed them under the tree. Didn't double check the invoice (or so he says). He gave me a rose colored 1920 or 30's? style dress that makes me want to run put on my hat and run on down to the USO and dance the jitterbug, a long white dress w/just a little bit of sequins and a set of capris. A set of capris that will fit both Bob, myself and all the children in quite comfortably at the same time. They are size 26W. I don't know if you can tell from the picture but these pants are really a bit too gynormous for me, anyone I know, the mini van... So the day after Christmas Bob contacts the catalogue company to exchange these for the size that is me, (that info is so classified) the size he allegedly ordered and they cannot be exchanged. They were on Clearance. So I have a good 2 yards of pretty fabric to remake into something fitting. He also got me a George Foreman Fat Reduction Grill... coincidence? You do the math, here's a hint it adds up to 26W.

I'm gonna go now and read my new books. I think I'll have some celery and water while I do it.

4 comments:

Marsel said...

LOL!!!!!!!!!

Marsel said...

The kitten is gorgeous, by the way -- gray is my favorite cat-color!

Delighted Hands said...

Yes, a good laugh-the pants are pretty and we just might be able to cut them down to the right size if you are up to the challenge!

Jess said...

Yes, we can make a pair for me out of one leg and a pair for you out of the other. : )