No good deed.

Saturday night I took Finn to a birthday costume party for a boy at his school who is turning 5.  This party was from 6:30pm - 9pm.  Let me just mention again that this boy is turning FIVE.  Somewhere in my marriage contract it apparently states that the horror that is children's birthday parties are my sole responsibility; my attorney must have missed this in the prenup.  I have not ever nor do I think I ever will enjoy children's birthday parties.  I actually feel that it is a very huge accomplishment on my part that I have shown up for all of MY children's parties for the past fifteen years.  I think I should be given some sort of recognition or prize for this...

This party took place in a tiny house.  There were about 15 - 20 children there all hopped up on frosting and punch.  It was not wonderfully organized.  There were a lot of adults there too.  Some were family members to the birthday boy.  None of these family members offered in any way to help the mother of the b'day boy.  The mother of the b'day boy got tears in her voice and screeched, "Could somebody help me please?" after the candles were blown out.  None of these family members came to her assistance in any way other than standing in her teeny tiny kitchen in the way of anyone who had any kind of business in there.  (In my defense I offered to help her 3 times she should've taken me up on this) 

I have a cold the kind where your eyeballs actually hurt and feel like they will burst any moment. I know exactly how I came to have this cold. Since I began living like this person http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boy_in_the_Plastic_Bubble it is very easy for me to trace illness' to their source with the efficiency of someone on CSI.  The birthday boy in question had a hacking cough, looked more than a little fevered and was hacking all over his cake right before and after he blew out the candles.  I could actually see the bronchitis coming off of him toward me.  To add insult to injury there were clowns.  Children do not like clowns.  Clowns are scary.  It doesn't matter if they can make balloon animals, they are still scary.  If they try to handy out candy to you the proper procedure is to scream and run away, these are the strangers your parents told you never to take candy from!  These clowns were also drinking beer from punch cups and were related to the b'day family.  This actually explains a lot.     

On the upside. Finn and I made new friends there.  We are going to meet at the park for a playdate.  I knew I wanted to be this woman's friend as soon as I noticed from across the room her ability to look absolutely astonished while rolling her eyes at the same time.  It takes years of practice, hard work and talent to develop a skill like that.  Most people have to start practicing in junior high or high school in order to be able to produce this expression so effortlessly.

My brave protector!

Finn is saying, "Well, I can't see it!"

This is NOT Gilbert.

I am finding reasons to love her anyway.

We left this party at eight o'clock so we could go home and have terrifying sweet dreams of happy clowns.  

(Blogger will not let me display my pictures how I want them to be displayed.  This is not my fault.  I am rolling my eyes and giving up.)